Wednesday 21 August 2019

Unpredictable Life

This morning a colleague mentioned that he had just lost his 27 year old sister in law who committed suicide following a problematic marriage.  A marriage that took place when two people fell in love and wanted to spend the rest of their lives together.

So what makes the relationship fall apart to the extent that one person is driven to take their own life?

We are all in relationships that need compromising.  We all do.  Is there a limit to this compromise? When can one say 'NO'? 

A grown woman in a relationship for 25+ years and yet life is unstable.  The husband wants his way with everything.  Life has to run to his command and the wife who is nearing menopausal age with 2 grown up daughters agrees to it all.  Why you might ask, well, life has seen plenty twists and turns, the wife has made many mistakes in life, mostly by giving up a career where she could have flourished.  But at the time the thought of leaving behind her babies to be with nannies wasn't something she cared for, after that it just became a habit to stay at home.  There have been plenty offers, some good, some not so good, but she didn't last anywhere for long.  Hence, the financial dependence now doesn't allow her to be her own self.


The dominant nature of the husband, his insecurities about her has led her to contemplate suicide a number of times, yet she hasn't been able to.  She is the kind to let others be her priority, she thinks of her old parents and her daughters and how their life will change if she ceases to exist and always rethinks her life.  She has a roof over her head, food on the plate, loving, supportive parents and children, fun friends, what more can she ask for? Bypass the autocratic husband and life is certainly good!  Someone somewhere has it worse, so committing suicide isn't an option.

Leave life to its own devices and you will get what you truly deserve, that's the way of Karma!



Monday 5 August 2019

Back to the drawing board

Its been a while since I had the urge to write something. Had all but forgotten that the blog existed.

I am who I am and I have come to terms with this fact at my ripe old age.  Touching 50 soon, though these are not those days when one feels old this soon, but I guess I have my moments, like a lot of other people.

I don't care much about what people think anymore these days, I'm told it 'happens with age'.  I'm also told 'age is just a number', yes, I truly believe this! The last two years of my life have been terrible, yet wonderful, I have loved to love myself, have loved to be a single parent to a teenager, have loved to be answerable to no one.  Terrible because I suffered, unable to share my life with someone, terrible because I had to let go of a lot of people from my life, terrible because of all the financial hardships.

All in all though, I am a winner, I have a great child, I have a wonderful, emotionally supportive family, I have learnt to heal myself, I have learnt to be a positive person and if the compliments are anything to go by, I am looking better now that I ever did, 'a curious case of Benjamin Button', so I'm told.

Life isn't always good and it shouldn't be either, how else does one learn to cope otherwise.  But after the harrowing couple of years, I want it to be good and I want nothing more.  My subconscious says I will have a better life, the way I want it and it will be so.

Will keep you all posted.

When you have a partner who is an unconscious bully, you learn new coping mechanisms daily.  Giving in is not me anymore, it takes more to bow me down.  Been there, done that, over it now, fight it out, else will always live with regrets in life.

Enough now, let the story unfold slowly... 

'Change your thoughts and you change your world'
-Norman Vincent Peale